Fit of Despair – Apple Crumble With Whipped Coconut Cream

Let’s say it’s Thanksgiving, and you’ve just been diagnosed with gluten and casein intolerance. Suddenly you are faced with a life of no wheat and no dairy. Ever. You and your loving boyfriend are cruising the grocery aisles, planning your holiday feast: ham (read label, check additives…okay), roasting potatoes, baby carrots, green beans. All is well, until your loving boyfriend wanders into the bakery and begins fingering cakes. He pauses at an angel food, ponders a chocolate torte, and finally, after much deliberation, settles on a deep dish honey crunch apple pie. “Let’s get ice cream!” he exclaims.

In your mind he is writhing on the floor in a pool of melted French Vanilla, clutching his groin. In reality, you grit your teeth and follow him through the dairy aisle (pretending not to notice the Chunky Monkey you will NEVER TASTE AGAIN), hit the checkout, drive home, open the ice cream, spit in it, put it and the damned pie away and finally collapse in a fit of despair. Then you…

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