There are more cracked badges than there are cracked transfer codes when it comes to Cristiano Ronaldo and his Manchester United future.
‘CRISTIANO RONALDO is the last piece in the jigsaw’ – Neil Custis, The SunSeptember 11, when it was ‘game on for a United side up against the title winners of the last two years, Manchester City and Liverpool, and the European champions, Chelsea, in a four-horse race for the title.’
‘CRISTIANO RONALDO is in danger of entering football exile’ – Neil Custis, The Sun, July 29, when ‘the 37-year-old’s continued presence while wanting to move elsewhere can only drag people down.’
That is some fall over the course of 322 days. No-one Everyone could have seen it coming.
The future of Cristiano Ronaldo is all the rage and the Daily Mirror website has its finger on the pulse:
‘Cristiano Ronaldo handed unexpected transfer boost as fresh option emerges’
Finally. The bloke could do with some good news. So which poor sap has decided that it’s worth stumping up half a million quid a week for some goals and a whole load of drama? What is this ‘unexpected’ and ‘fresh option’?
‘An option may have just become available to him with Atletico Madrid – despite the club’s president Enrique Cerezo previously labeling a move for the five-time Ballon d’Or winner as “practically impossible”.’
That doesn’t sound like the option of Atletico Madrid ‘may have just become available to him’. Rather the opposite.
‘But Atletico Madrid may just change their tune on Ronaldo following a report in Confidential Digital that they’ve sold the fewest amount of shirts this summer in their history.’
Yes. Atletico Madrid will shatter their wage structure and financially cripple themselves to sell a few more replica shirts. Got to capitalize on that overwhelming fan excitement.
‘A club source told the publication that “sales have fallen by 40 per cent compared to last year’s data” as inflation increases across Europe and fans continue to feel the financial strain of supporting their team.’
But the chance to get ‘RONALDO 7’ on the back of a shirt will solve all that.
‘While Ronaldo is not an obvious answer to this problem for Atletico, the Portuguese international helps generate an incredible amount of revenue for whichever club he represents.’
It also costs a couple of quid. ‘Not an obvious answer’ is a slight understatement when you’re proposing a transfer based entirely on shirt sales.
‘Cause I’m ready to go
The same outlet throws one more hat into the Ronaldo ring.
‘Cristiano Ronaldo move finally given green light after Atletico Madrid’s furious backlash,’ reads this Daily Mirror website headlines. One man’s ‘unexpected transfer boost’ and ‘fresh option’ is another’s ‘furious backlash’, clearly. Shame both men work for the same sodding publication.
The ‘green light’ in question comes from Sporting Lisbon. Well, kind of…
‘Sporting fans have made it clear they want Cristiano Ronaldo back at the club, as the saga surrounding his Manchester United exit takes another twist.’
Unless they are planning on crowdfunding the transfer and his subsequent wages – and getting #RonaldoatSporting trending on Twitter is no confirmation of that – that is neither a ‘green light’ nor a ‘twist’.
Cryptic? Cross words
Over at the MailOnlinethey gleefully report on Ronaldo’s most recent quotes on his situation.
“Cristiano Ronaldo hits out at ‘lies’ about his Man United future in cryptic Instagram post, as he speaks after telling the club he wants to leave… with Jorge Mendes ‘in talks over Sporting Lisbon return”
That ‘cryptic Instagram post’ in full, made in response to a story claiming that Jorge Mendes told Manchester United his client wants to leave:
‘Impossible not to talk about me one day. Otherwise the press makes no money. You know that if you don’t lie you can’t get people’s attention. Keep going that one day you will get some news right.’
It truly is a message with ‘a meaning that is mysterious or obscure’. What could he possibly mean?
Badge of honor
The MailOnlineby the way, cannot go unpunished for this:
Someone please confiscate the MailOnline’s badge-cracking technology. Such flagrant misuse of a proud tradition. pic.twitter.com/U7KwwhCGe0
— Football365 (@F365) July 29, 2022
Failing to sign Frenkie de Jong and being begged by Cristiano Ronaldo to let him leave does not justify a cracked badge.
Serge of adrenaline
The Liverpool Echo get their transfer completed by pretending the Reds might dip into the free transfer market to sign a goalkeeper. This despite Jurgen Klopp confirming Alisson was expected to return from injury by next week, with Caiomhin Kelleher recovering from his own issue.
That leaves Adrian, as well as young keepers Harvey Davies and Fabian Mrozek, to fend for themselves in the Community Shield against Manchester City.
And that ‘could understandably prompt a little uneasiness’ at Anfield, giving us a headline of: ‘Liverpool could sign former Manchester United star if forced to complete unwanted transfer’
They certainly could. There is no suggestion whatsoever that they actually will or are even considering the prospect but what does that matter when you have scanned a list of free agents and stumbled across the name of Sergio Romero, first mentioned in the 24th paragraph of a story based entirely on conjecture and speculation?
As the 28th and final paragraph begins: ‘Admittedly Liverpool remain unlikely to add to their ranks at the current time…’
You mean they won’t sign a new keeper because Alisson is missing a glorified pre-season friendly?
Roll the Dyche
EX-Burnley gaffer Sean Dyche made a shock new signing when he popped for a pint at a boozer named in his honor and inked his own mural.
‘The pub, formerly The Princess Royal, became The Royal Dyche in 2018 after he captured the Clarets in the Premier League’ – Sarah Ridley, The Sun.
Well, technically DoJ keep Burnley in the Premier League in 2017/18. But it was by finishing seventh and qualifying for Europe. Way to undersell the achievement. It’s like praising David Moyes for avoiding relegation with West Ham last season.